moonlit levi’s

i want touch

not in a hot way

that would be nice too

i want touch in a

i want your veined hand on my levi-ed

last quarter blue moon-lit knee

in an old rocking chair

kind of way

in an early summer peepers and crickets

sort of way

in a

i love you kind of way

i want love

not in a passing way

that would be fine too

i want love in a

the world is burning

but there is ground here

it is safe to hold my hand

sort of way

like we have trespassed

but i see you and you are full

full of kinks

full of knots

full of streams

full of light

full of shadow

full of never-ending

full of not enough

and you are mine

kind of way

not like

i am lost without you kind of way

but

we have found pieces of each other

in gnarled hands

in twisted

wasted

and well spent words

kind of way

tracing tears from horror bent eyes

into bellies

out of mouths

into world

back unto self

salvation standing in the queer light of you

kind of way

like

i'm scared

but

you don’t have to be scared of me

even when I break your heart

sort of way

i want to love the world

not in a spiritual bypass kind of way

but in a

fuck you

my heart cracks open

tears river-fall because torture and love go hand in hand

kind of way

because people torture life and still love it

because i torture you and still love you

because you torture me and still love me

because i torture myself and i still love

We

You

Me

Still

i want to write now

before nights fall

before this bottle ends

before the mornings’ blue light atrophy

in the light of the 3rd quarter moon

tonight i was alive

feeling the loss and the swell of you

tonight i am alive

feeling the loss and the swell of me